If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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