So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize