dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
