I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize