If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
