these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
