That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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