her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This house was built for laser tag.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
