Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
