Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
