belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
