What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
