I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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