Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
