Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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