I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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