There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
