I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
