when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
