So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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