Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
