He asked to "fluff my boner.."
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
