Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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