So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
