I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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