I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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