did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
