I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
