Porn is love you can see.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
