Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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