I wanna passion pit in your ass
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
