one two three fourrrrnication!
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
