Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
