I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
worst night to have a conscience
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
