I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
