Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
