addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Randomize
