I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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