Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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