I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize