The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
