That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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