Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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