is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
