so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
