Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
