He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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