i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
