i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just googled if crying burns calories
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
