what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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