so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm like, not good at living.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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