Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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