would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
