Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
