Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
