2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
