in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
