Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
