but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize