omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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