So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
