We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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