I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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