Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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