you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
