Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
