Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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