I feel great
I just peed on a car
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize